Home » Redundancy and Relocation – Going With The Flow in the Midst of Chaos

Redundancy and Relocation – Going With The Flow in the Midst of Chaos

So, remember how I wrote that my word for 2015 would be “Surrender”?  How little I knew at that time how much that word would come to mean…

We’re not even out of January yet and already I have been made redundant, attended a job interview, and made the decision to relocate (and found a house that will hopefully be ours!) Talk about a crazy month!!

I’ve not been able to talk about all of this while it was happening, because there was a period of time between finding out about the proposed redundancy and the confirmation of this (which arrived yesterday). And it’s been pretty tough not being able to talk about it, not because of the changes themselves, but because of the changes within me that this has all evoked.

2014 was a year that almost broke me. Between TJ’s rapidly deteriorating health, the multiple GP and hospital appointments that ensued, an incredibly challenging job, final edits on the book and its subsequent launch, a massive drop in Little Man’s childcare (meaning less time than ever to fit everything into my already hectic days!) and my own very physical reactions to stress, it is no wonder I ended the year close to a breakdown and feeling like Christmas was just an inconvenience I could have done without.

But it was upon hitting absolute rock bottom that I made the decision to “let go” and trust that everything would unfold in its own way. Instead of fighting to try and control life, I decided to go with the flow, and I couldn’t have made that decision at a better moment. Were I still in the mindset that I was in 2014, this first month of the New Year would have been the final push that shattered me. Instead, it has been a defining moment in teaching me to ride the waves and hopefully float, rather than thrashing around and choking myself in the process.

Go With The Flow

Don’t get me wrong – life is stressful. Nobody wants to face an uncertain future. Every day I find myself thinking, “I’ll feel better when… [insert “I get a new job”, “we’ve signed a new lease”, “we’re all settled into our new home” etc]”. But this is the wrong kind of thinking. I can’t wait for those things to happen to feel better, I need to feel okay now.

It’s a pretty monumental shift in perception, and it is being helped along by an awful lot of prayer, reading, and support from friends and family. But it is slowly becoming more of a natural reaction and less of something I need to force myself to think.

I’m still sad, of course, this kind of thinking doesn’t take away that feeling. It just makes it easier to live with. Things have happened which I never imagined would happen, some of which I do not understand at all. But instead of letting the concern about things I cannot know consume me, I am choosing to let them go. One day I may know the answers, but if I don’t it doesn’t matter – I can accept that now.

So that’s where I’m at… a total and complete change. But as they say, when one door closes, another will open. I’m choosing to look at this as a positive, trusting that this is just one more step along the path I am to take in life, even if I cannot yet see what the next step is.

What I do know, though, is that it has deeply impacted the direction in which I wish to take my blog now, after several years of floundering around with no real direction at all. And I’m excited about that, even though it includes facing something I have feared doing for quite a long time. But what did I say 2015 was about, surrendering? Well maybe that also means surrendering to what happens and simply following my heart…

Will you join me?

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9 comments

  1. Louise says:

    My goodness what a crazy month it has been for you. Hope that surrendering and focusing on being okay now and looking for the positives will help with this and good luck with job hunting.

    • Amanda says:

      Hi Louise,

      thanks for popping by. Yes it has been a crazy month, and next month is going to be just as crazy!! But thankfully I am being surrounded by lots of love and support to remind me to find the joy throughout it all.

  2. I love the upbeat tone to this blog post, it’s so easy to wait for something to happen to be happy, but by allowing yourself to be happy now you take over some control. It certainly sounds like you’ve got some exciting times ahead. Good luck with it all! x

    • Amanda says:

      Thanks so much for popping over and commenting. It’s certainly a way of thinking and living that I want to develop more, rather than worrying over the future and waiting for something other than what I have. I’m having my odd wobbles, but mostly getting there!

  3. Simone says:

    Hi Amanda. I am so sorry to hear about your redundancy. As there are things we have no control over in our lives I think that ‘surrender’ is a good word choice for 2015. I hope that you settle into a new job and home soon and that they are what you want. Glad to hear positive news about Tim too on another of your blog posts. x

    • Amanda says:

      Hi Simone,

      thanks for popping by… yes I don’t think I could have picked a better word for this year even if I had spent a lot more time thinking about it than I did. I believe it was a very “inspired” choice 😉 xx

    • Amanda says:

      Hey hun,

      thanks so much for popping by and leaving such a supportive comment. Yes it has certainly been tough in many ways, but in other ways it has been quite incredible. I completely agree with you, everything does happen for a reason, and I can see that so clearly at the moment! we’re still right in the midst of the chaos, but I do feel things will get much better soon. Thanks again, can’t wait to see your at BritMums Live again this year 🙂 xx

  4. Joy says:

    The truth is that there is no path, no formula for living your life. In my opinion the reason why we feel bad that we don’t have a a job, a partner or a house of our own is because of the social standard that everybody believes is the right way to live… and it isn’t! There are so many options for each and every one of us…and everybody is free to find his own way.

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